“Like a kick in the butt, the force of events wakes slumberous talents.” (Edward Hoagland)

The butt—back end, backside, behind, bottom, bum, derrière, fanny, gluteus maximus, haunches, hindquarters, posterior, rear, rump, seat, tush, ass, backside, can, posterior, rear, rump, tail—is a portion of the body that we all observe–on everyone else; it’s pretty difficult to see our own. There is a psychic knowing about a person whose backside is one shape or another; we think differently about the flaccid-butt person, the high/tight/rounded one and the hugely reverberating (best for belly dancing). Large guys who bend over in low pants define a certain personality. Some ladies buy panties with pads to plump out their backsides, or have implants. The OPL (Obvious Panty Line) has always been a “Glamour Don’t,” and “fashionistas” recommend carrying a large purse to disguise a large butt. Some parents spank their children’s bottoms…whaaa…

Origin unknown; found in writer’s files; thanks to photographer; please write for credit

Belly dancing butt categories:

• Discus Shaped (flat-ish) – in charge, confident, professional, excellent zills player
• Bubble or Cherry/Peach Shaped – dances all night, very proud, sensitive, wears pastel costume colors
• Ghetto Booty – plenty of shimmy reverb, enjoys hip drops, ethnic styles.
• Pear or Tear-Shaped Sacks – cooks, naps, wears her hip belt low.
• Tear-Shaped Side Sacks – craves limelight, kinky, likes action, hip circles.
• Round – open, honest and sincere, lyrical veil dancer.
• Heart-Shaped/Apple – emotional, helpful, pretty, good choreographer, ATS .
• Upside-Down Heart Shaped – moody, shy, self-deprecating, a loner, Gothique.
• Shelf-Shaped (sticks out) – active, health-conscious, Turkish drops.
• Boyish (slim hips/flat butt) – happy-go-lucky, fun and really confident, Egyptian cane dancer.

We have many butt slang phrases in our language: the butt of a joke, butt in on a conversation, being told to butt out of something, all the ass words (careful: saying “asshole” too often causes hemorroids!), and yet classical art sculptures, paintings and other figurative representations feature the nude human butt as a perfectly beautiful, idealized form.

One belly dancing teacher observed there are women with “dead butts” out there, and affirmed and has proven to the writer that our dance would bring them back to life. The butt, as the largest muscle, is the most visible shimmying portion of the lower, back torso, even though that shimmy may originate from the feet, the knees, the legs or the hips.

The gluteus maximus is the largest and most superficial of the three gluteal muscles, making up a large portion of the shape and appearance of the buttocks. It is a broad and thick fleshy mass of a quadrilateral shape. Its large size is one of the most characteristic features of the muscular system in humans, connected as it is with the power of maintaining the trunk in the erect posture. Its most powerful action is to cause the body to regain the erect position after stooping, by drawing the pelvis backward. The gluteus maximus steadies the femur on the articular surfaces of the tibia during standing, when the extensor muscles are relaxed. The lower part of the muscle also acts as an adductor and external rotator of the limb. Ahem. (www.wikipedia.com)

“The misery of the middle-aged woman
is a gray and hopeless thing,
born of having nothing to live for,
of disappointment and resentment
at having been gypped by consumer society,
and surviving merely to be the butt of its unthinking scorn.”
Germain Greer

As a group, belly dancers are not likely to ascribe to Ms. Greer’s sad forecast. We see women of all ages celebrating their butts, their bosoms, their entire bodies in the never-ending adventurous dance we call belly. In case the reader wants to make improvements, though, here are some exercise tips to better your bottom:

• Squats
• Running up stairs, benches, rocks
• Running up hills

Cellulite has its uses. Source: www.lifeisajoke.com

The teacher said, “Honey, I don’t think that’s your name. You need to go to the principal’s office and get this straightened out.” So she went to the principal’s office and he asked, “What’s your name?” And the little girl said, “Happy Butt”. The principal called the girl’s Mum to get this straightened out once and for all. After getting off the phone, he looked at the little girl and said, “Honey, your name is Gladys, not Happy Butt.” The girl then exclaimed, “Glad Ass, Happy Butt, what’s the difference???” (www.ebaumsworld.com)

May you:
• always be a big booty cutie,
• never need to ask if your butt is too big,
• never need big boobs because your butt is so big,
• always get cheers for your big rear,
• always be bootylicious!

“Shimmy from the Heart!” (12/9/09)